After reading chapter 5 from the Week 5 Learning Resources entitled Listening (https://2012books.lardbucket.org/books/a-primer-on-communication-studies/s05-listening.html) respond to this discussion
Question:
- Compare and contrast the four main listening styles (not listening types). Which listening style/s are you most likely to use?
- We are capable of thinking faster than the speed at which the average person speaks, which allows us some room to put mental faculties toward things other than listening. What typically makes your mind wander?
- Bad speakers and messages are a common barrier to effective listening. Describe a time recently when your ability to listen was impaired by the poor delivery and/or content of another person. How did your bad listening affect your relationship with the speaker?
- Of the bad listening practices listed, which do you use the most? Why do you think you use this one more than the others? What can you do to help prevent or lessen this barrier?
5.2 PEER ANSWER
The four main listening styles are people oriented, action oriented, content oriented, and time oriented. From what I learned about the four main styles I believe that people oriented and content oriented are somewhat similar, the same goes for action oriented and time oriented. The reason behind it is that time is not a factor for the people and content oriented styles. They will listen for as long as they need. However, action and time oriented are more aware of time constraints and are more prone to rushing to get only the important information that is needed. Content oriented and time oriented styles are polar opposites. Content oriented will take as much time as needed to gather information whereas time oriented will rush to get information. Then people oriented and action oriented are opposites as well. A person who is people oriented will listen and give advice whether the person who is talking takes it or not. When someone talks to an action oriented person, the listener will take in the information they need to figure out what the talker wants done. I believe that I am a people oriented style listener and that I am more likely to use that listening style. It will be very rare for me to be a time oriented person that is just not the type of listener I like being. I take into consideration everyone's feelings and do my best to be that person that anyone can come to and vent. Whether someone takes my advice or not it doesn't bother me. I much rather be the person that someone comes to when they are having a bad day or a good day.
Boredom makes my mind wonder. If someone is trying to teach me something I already know my mind tends to wander off to what things I need to get done today. Another thing that might make my mind wander is if I need to answer a question. My mind automatically stops listening and tries to think of answers to potential questions. The last thing I can think of that might make my mind wander is trying to guess what someone is going to say next.
My job right now is to teach medics the new guidelines that the army has put into place. As part of my job, we have something called teaching days where newly hired instructors are evaluated by myself and my coworkers. When a new instructor does a poor job during a teaching day it really affects my relationship with them. I am less likely to attend one of their classes again unless forced to. If I do attend another one of their classes, I am least likely to pay attention and instead of taking notes I will doodle. Outside of teaching I won't go out of my way to talk to the new instructor if they taught in a monotoned voice in fear that that's just how that person communicates. I do not want to be rude and have my mind wander if the conversation is not entertaining.
I am guilty of interrupting people when I am listening. I do it a lot to the point where I get annoyed of myself doing it. I believe that I use this bad listening practice more than others because my mind automatically thinks that it knows what is being asked and I am trying to respond quickly. Another reason why I believe I do it is sometimes when the speaker is pausing, I start to think that they are done talking and it is my turn to talk. In order to prevent myself from interrupting I might start counting in my head to three slowly when the speaker takes a pause, so I know for sure that the speaker is done talking. I can do my best to bite my tongue until someone is done asking the question. It will be hard to break this bad practice, but I do want to make that change.
5.3 Question:
After reading the chapter from the Week 5 Learning Resourcesentitled "The Dark Side of Relationships" (https://2012books.lardbucket.org/books/a-primer-on-communication-studies/s07-06-the-dark-side-of-relationships.html) respond to this discussion topic. Answer one question from 1-4 and one questions from 5-7.
Answer one of the following questions:
- Define the dark side of relationships.
- Explain how lying affects relationships. Be sure to include how lying has affected one of your relationships or how you have observed it affecting the relationship of someone close to you.
- Explain how sexual and emotional cheating affects relationships.
- Define the various types of interpersonal violence and explain how they are similar and different.
Answer one of the following questions:
- Describe a situation in which lying affected one of your interpersonal relationships. What was the purpose of the lie and how did the lie affect the relationship?
- How do you think technology has affected extradyadic romantic activity?
- Getting integrated: In what ways might the "dark side of relationships" manifest in your personal relationships in academic contexts, professional contexts, and civic contexts?
5.3 PEER RESPONSE
Sexual and emotional cheating can affect a relationship negatively. Cheating in any way can cause the faithful partner to feel a number of things like, jealousy, anxiety, anger, and betrayal. In the end greatly affecting the relationship in a negative way. The faithful partner can easily lose trust in the cheating partner. Another way that the relationship can be affected negatively is by an unwanted pregnancy or contracting a sexually transmitted infection after a partner takes part in cheating sexually. If my wife would cheat on me whether its emotionally or sexually it would ruin what we have built together. I would no longer trust what she says and does. Eventually my marriage would be over, and I would be asking for a divorce because I do not want to be in a relationship where I can't trust my wife.
One of my old friendships was greatly affected by lying a few years ago. What I thought was a solid friendship was not in the end. My friend Ryan and I were like siblings, we would always be there for each other. When I was going through a hard time Ryan was always there to cheer me up and distract me from what I was going through. When I started to date Rachel (my wife) who Ryan introduced me to, things changed. Ryan would start to make up random lies about needing help so I would cancel my plans with Rachel. I of course being a good friend I would cancel my plans and go to the rescue because Ryan and I were "bros". I was just starting to date Rachel, so Ryan took priority in my mind. As time went on, I started to catch on that he was lying about needing help with simple things that he could do easily by himself. He would just say he needed help because he missed hanging out with me. The lie that destroyed the relationship however was him telling me that his mother had died while on my one year anniversary with Rachel. I trying to be a good friend told Rachel that Ryan needed me more than ever. She was very understanding and told me to go and be by his side. On the way to Ryan, I called his sister, and she was very confused as to why Ryan would say that since their mom was right next to her. I understand that the purpose of the lie was for attention that Ryan was no longer getting because of my new relationship with Rachel. However, he could have simply talked to me about wanting to hang out more instead of making up this crazy lie. Needless to say, that lie was the reason why my friendship with Ryan ended. I forgave the little lies, but this last lie was too much for me to handle. I was not able to trust Ryan again, I had to end the friendship.
Entrepreneurship Successfully Launching New Ventures
ISBN: 978-0133797190
5th edition
Authors: Bruce R. Barringer, R. Duane Ireland