Content and relationship messages serve different communication functions. Being able to distinguish between these functions is a prerequisite for using and responding to messages effectively. In Youre Wearing That? (2006), Deborah Tannen gives examples of content and relationship communication and the problems that can result from different interpretations. For example, the mother who says, Are you going to wear those earrings? may think shes communicating solely a content message. To the daughter, however, the message is largely relational and is a criticism of the way she intends to dress. (Of course, the mother may have intended criticism.) Often, questions that may appear to be objective and focused on content are perceived as attacks, as in the title of Tannens book. Identify the possible content and relational messages that a receiver might get in being asked the following questions:

Youre calling me?

Did you say youre applying to medical school?

Youre in love?

You paid a hundred dollars for that?

And thats all you did?