i really need help with this

Dealing with a Difficult Friend UULIITT Making Relationship Choices Dealing with a Difficult Friend 2 of 6 Background Communicating competently is challenging, especially when close relationship partners provoke us. When problematic encounters happen online, it makes dealing with them even more difficult. Read the case study in Part 2, then, drawing on all you know about interpersonal communication thus far, work through the problem- solving model in Part 3 50 ling with a Difficult Friend Kaitlyn, Cort, and you have been best friends for years. The three of you are inseparable, and people joke that you're more like triplets than friends. After high school, you and Cort become college housemates. Kaitlyn can't afford tuition yet, so she stays in your hometown to work and save money. Despite the distance, the three of you stay in daily contact Recently, however, things have changed. Kaitlyn has been hanging out with people you consider shady. She's been drinking heavily and boasting about her all-night binges. You try to be supportive, but you're worried You awake one Sunday to find that one of Kaitlyn's new friends has tagged her in a series of Facebook photos documenting their latest party adventure. Kaitlyn has added a comment that reads, "A new low is reached LUV it!!" Surfing through the pictures, you see Kaitlyn drinking until she passes out. Several photos show her friends laughing and posing with her while she's unconscious. In one image, they've drawn a smiley face on her forehead with a Sharpie. Looking at these photos, you're heartsick with humiliation for your friend. Why would Kaitlyn hang with people like that? But you also can't understand why she would comment on these pictures rather than insist on having them deleted. What if her family saw them? or her employers? You e-mail her, telling her she should have the photos deleted and saying that you're worried about her behavior and her choice of new friends. She doesn't respond. That night, you're studying with Cort. When Cort steps out to get some food, a message alert sounds on his phone. It's a text from Kaitlyn. You know you shouldn't read it, but your curiosity gets the best of you. It's a rage message, in which Kaitlyn blasts you for prying into her business, for judging her, for thinking you're better than her, and for telling her what to do. It's personal, profane, and very insulting. You feel sick to your stomach. You love Kaitlyn, but you're also furious with her. How could she say such horrible things when all you were trying to do was help? As you sit there stewing, another text to Cort from Kaitlyn comes in Wherer2 Text me backlit want to talk wabout out nosv.o-so.nedest friend!" Think about all you've learned thus far about interpersonal communication. The work through the following fve steps. Remember there are no right now, so think hard about what is the best choice Step 1 ot: Reflect on yourself What are your thoughts and feelings in this statutions are you making about Katyn and her communication? Are your sumption Step 2: Reflect on your partner Put yourself in Kaitlyn's shoes How is she thinking and feeling? Are her ows valid? Step 3: Identify the optimal outcome Think about your relationship and communication wity and all that has happened. What's the best most constructive relationship outcome possible? Consider what's best for you and for at Step 4: Locate the roadblocks Taking into consideration your own and Katy's thoughts and feelings and that has happened in this sination what obstacles are preventing you from thing the line outcome? Step Chart your course What can you say to yn to overcome the mods you and your outcome Dealing with a Difficult Friend UULIITT Making Relationship Choices Dealing with a Difficult Friend 2 of 6 Background Communicating competently is challenging, especially when close relationship partners provoke us. When problematic encounters happen online, it makes dealing with them even more difficult. Read the case study in Part 2, then, drawing on all you know about interpersonal communication thus far, work through the problem- solving model in Part 3 50 ling with a Difficult Friend Kaitlyn, Cort, and you have been best friends for years. The three of you are inseparable, and people joke that you're more like triplets than friends. After high school, you and Cort become college housemates. Kaitlyn can't afford tuition yet, so she stays in your hometown to work and save money. Despite the distance, the three of you stay in daily contact Recently, however, things have changed. Kaitlyn has been hanging out with people you consider shady. She's been drinking heavily and boasting about her all-night binges. You try to be supportive, but you're worried You awake one Sunday to find that one of Kaitlyn's new friends has tagged her in a series of Facebook photos documenting their latest party adventure. Kaitlyn has added a comment that reads, "A new low is reached LUV it!!" Surfing through the pictures, you see Kaitlyn drinking until she passes out. Several photos show her friends laughing and posing with her while she's unconscious. In one image, they've drawn a smiley face on her forehead with a Sharpie. Looking at these photos, you're heartsick with humiliation for your friend. Why would Kaitlyn hang with people like that? But you also can't understand why she would comment on these pictures rather than insist on having them deleted. What if her family saw them? or her employers? You e-mail her, telling her she should have the photos deleted and saying that you're worried about her behavior and her choice of new friends. She doesn't respond. That night, you're studying with Cort. When Cort steps out to get some food, a message alert sounds on his phone. It's a text from Kaitlyn. You know you shouldn't read it, but your curiosity gets the best of you. It's a rage message, in which Kaitlyn blasts you for prying into her business, for judging her, for thinking you're better than her, and for telling her what to do. It's personal, profane, and very insulting. You feel sick to your stomach. You love Kaitlyn, but you're also furious with her. How could she say such horrible things when all you were trying to do was help? As you sit there stewing, another text to Cort from Kaitlyn comes in Wherer2 Text me backlit want to talk wabout out nosv.o-so.nedest friend!" Think about all you've learned thus far about interpersonal communication. The work through the following fve steps. Remember there are no right now, so think hard about what is the best choice Step 1 ot: Reflect on yourself What are your thoughts and feelings in this statutions are you making about Katyn and her communication? Are your sumption Step 2: Reflect on your partner Put yourself in Kaitlyn's shoes How is she thinking and feeling? Are her ows valid? Step 3: Identify the optimal outcome Think about your relationship and communication wity and all that has happened. What's the best most constructive relationship outcome possible? Consider what's best for you and for at Step 4: Locate the roadblocks Taking into consideration your own and Katy's thoughts and feelings and that has happened in this sination what obstacles are preventing you from thing the line outcome? Step Chart your course What can you say to yn to overcome the mods you and your outcome