please review my first draft. Thank you. I need one or more pieces of constructive criticism.

Whats one thing we can't live without, thats right our electronics. Technology seems to be an addiction we need to have in order to feel at peace. If we dont have our electronics we seem to go anxious and sometimes go crazy. It seems that we cant even enjoy our life without having our electronics next to us, we are attached to them. Everywhere we go, we see people having their heads bent down and eyes glued to their phones, tablets, or laptops. Social media seems to have good and bad effects but theyre mostly bad. Social media can cause cyberbullying mental health, and poor communication. It is impacting kids all the way through their adulthood. In this generation, teens are on their phones scrolling through social media. In social media, teenagers dont really see the dangers of being in social media. Theyre too busy texting their friends or scrolling through Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook, and etc. What they dont know in those social media people can bully others. In the movie, Cyberbully, by Charles Biname, they show how cyberbullying can damage a persons mentality. A friend request may damage a persons life. What people may not know is that one of your friends can backstab you. In, Cyberbully, a girl named, Taylor decided to create a social media account to text with people everything was going well especially since she was talking with her crush. Until she accepted a friend request from a random guy and thats when things went downhill. First, he was chatting with her sweetly until his true side came out. What are you guys doing here? I made her drive me here. You havent seen it yet? No what? Your wall. No, I just got it back did Lidsney post more stuff? Um not Lidsney, that James guy you thought was so nice.(0:16:15) Taylor and James were texting personal information to each other even though they never met. First, he was posting several sweet posts on her page until it went to the opposite road. He was posting unnecessary posts making her start crying and feeling sad. She talked to her mom about this situation and depended on her to delete the account but she refuses to listen. Until things start getting worse each second because people were finding out and started commenting and thats when everybody in the school knew what was going on even though it was false information from her making people think shes a nasty person with std. Things kept getting worse. Theirs was a point when she couldnt handle this situation especially losing her friends. Im the real Taylor Hillridge and I dont know why everybody hates me so much but maybe I do because I hate me to and right now I dont see the reason for trying or talking or breathing, just done so thats it I guess bye. (0:44:52) She couldnt handle the situation she tried to kill herself with a bottle of pills luckily a friend saw her post and saved her life from taking pills. When using social media they can be good and bad effects using it but sadly most of it is bad. We can never get enough of social media no matter how much it is hurting us. We are only hurting ourselves because we know the bad thats happening but we keep continuing it. In the article, Is social media bad for you? The evidence and the unknown, written by Jessica Brown. Brown seems to explain how social media is giving us stress, mood, anxiety, depression, sleep problem, addiction, self-esteem, boost well- being, relationship, envy, and loneliness. So many effects of using social media. People seem to stress out over social media but it seems that women are the ones who stress out the most. In the survey of 1,800 people, women reported being more stressed than men. Twitter was found to be a significant contributor because it increased their awareness of other peoples stress. (Brown 5)We are giving ourselves stress from using our electronics. Not only it can make us stress but it also changes our mood from going happy to sad. We see people who seem to be having a good time at places or traveling and that brings us down because we cant be happy like that person. Thats when mental health kicks in, We get anxious because we cant seem to concrete ourselves the only thing we can think of is our electronics. Its hard when a person doesnt have their electronic because we just have the urge from using it. From using it so much we also lose our sleep. When a person cant sleep the first thing they do is either get their phone, tablet, or laptop and go to social media, shopping, text friends, or watch videos. Once were using our phone its hard to put it down because we keep discovering new things every time we use our phone that its never-ending.