This summer you're making some money for college by working as a housekeeper at the Sweet Life After (SLA) retirement community in Ancaster, which comprises 53 independent living condominiums, 27 assisted living apartments, and a 63-room nursing home. The community has a stand-alone building with a restaurant and activity centre where residents and guests gather for communal activities such as playing cards and bingo, topical guest lectures, live music and dancing, and even small religious services. Recently, you and the other community staff, including the rest of the housekeepers, the grounds maintenance crew, the restaurant wait-staff, and valet parking, and administrative support staff received this written message in memo form from the new assistant manager for operations:

            A team cannot succeed if the defence are rowing in the opposite direction as the offence, so we must all sacrifice our individuality for the greater goal. So, as the new assistant manager responsible for staff management, and with five years of service here at SLA, I am of the opinion that the standard of excellence demanded by our members is not being met in several service areas by our staff. If this 35-year-old institution of Hamilton is to maintain its stature as the preeminent retirement community and social networking location for seniors in the area, you must all be exemplary in delivering the highest standards of excellence in behaviour and service, as outlined in the 150-page training manual you received during your orientation. To that end, you must all now attend a pair of mandatory re-training sessions on June 21 and 22 at 1100 and 1600, one for the day shift of housekeeping and grounds keeping, and one administrative support, wait-staff, and parking attendants. We are going to emphasize and ameliorate your shortcomings. I expect to see all of you at your training session, and I will take attendance, or you can expect reprisal. Go team.

You've never been in a management position, but you can clearly recognize that this is a poor message.

What is actually wrong with the new assistant manager's memo?

• Step 1: apply the FACED concept to the situation.
• Step 2: re-write the original message for a more positive reception and to make clear what recipients of the message are expected to do.
  • SUBMISSION: Post your own re-written message in your own words (paragraph 1) along with your FACED analysis (paragraph 2) while incorporating the following questions for your FACED analysis paragraph:

1. Why exactly is this message problematic?
2. What exactly is the core message?
3. How would you feel if you received this message? Be specific in identifying likely emotional responses to the message.
4. Think about the people receiving this message, or the 'audience.' What does the writer fail to consider? Identify four or five (4 or 5) possible errors. Please be specific.
5. From a writing techniques perspective (organization, style, grammar, punctuation, spelling), what do you need to know to improve the message.

Make sure the assignment is clear, concise and written in your own words.

 

 

 

Discussion Rubric (10%)

Criteria

Ratings

Pts

This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeFACED approach: Your main contribution (Content)

 

5 pts Excellent comprehensive, well-reasoned, and thoughtful answers to prompts; detailed and original thinking; fully supported and argued. FACED: fully and directly engages with FACED; clear and specific points - comprehensive, well-reasoned, and thoughtful response; able to offer constructive critique

3 pts Good relevant and sensible answers to prompts although common thinking; some details not fully explored or thought through; slightly disconnected evidence in support of ideas. FACED: limited direct engagement with a loosely defined point; relevant and sensible responses

1 pts Poor irrelevant, confusing, or disconnected points relative to prompts; unanswered questions, or inappropriate answers, or illogical; no clear evidence to support claim. FACED: does not engage directly with a defined point; too general or vague; irrelevant, confusing, or disconnected response

0 pts Not Done No response at all or irrelevant, confusing, and disconnected response

5 pts
 

This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeAccuracyAccurate sentence and paragraph structure

 

 

5 pts Excellent accurate grammar delivery; clear paragraph structure

3 pts Good mostly accurate grammar delivery; mostly clear paragraph structure

1 pts Poor grammar mistakes impede understanding; paragraph organization is confusing and impedes understanding

0 pts Not Done no contribution or meaningful effort; grammar and organization impede even partial understanding

Answer rating: 100% (QA)

The new assistant managers memo suffers from multiple issues Ill analyze it using the FACED approach and then provide a rewritten message for a more positive reception FACED Analysis F The memo fails ... View the full answer