The following letter rejecting a faucet manufacturer's product presentation contains many errors in judgment.

Working with your classmates in a team effort, you should be able to improve its effectiveness as a negative message. First, analyze and discuss the letter's flaws. How can it be improved? Use the following questions to help guide your discussion and development of an improved version.

July 15, 2013

Pamela Wilson, Operations Manager Sterling Manufacturing 133 Industrial Avenue Gary, IN 46403 Dear Ms. Wilson: We regret to inform you that your presentation at Home Depot's recent product review sessions in St. Petersburg did not meet our expert panelists' expectations. We require new products that will satisfy our customers' high standards. Yours did not match this goal.

Our primary concern is to continue our commitment to product excellence, customer knowledge, and price competitiveness, which has helped make Home Depot a Fortune 500 company with more than a thousand stores nationwide. The panel found flaws in your design and materials. Also, your cost per unit was too high. The product review sessions occur annually. You are allowed to try again; just apply as you did this year. Again, I'm sorry things didn't work out for you this time. Sincerely,

Hilary Buchman, Assistant to the Vice President, Sales

a. Describe the problems with this letter rejecting a product presentation.

b. Develop a plan for rewriting the letter, using the indirect approach. Organize your thinking before you begin writing, using the following tactics:

1. Select a buffer for the opening, using the "you" attitude.

2. Choose the reasons you'll use to explain the rejection.

3. Develop a way to soften or embed the bad news.

4. Create a conditional (if/then) statement to encourage the recipient to try again.

5. Find a way to close on a positive, encouraging note.

c. Now rewrite the letter. Don't forget to leave ample time for revision of your work before you turn it in.