organizing and eaiting emails

Select All Smart LOURUP Section 2: Organizing and editing emails (10 marks) Rewrite the email below according to the following instructions: 1. Rewrite the subject line so it meets the criteria discussed in week 2. 2. Divide the email into short paragraphs (in this case a list is NOT a paragraph!) 3. Make one parallel list using the text. 4 2 of the first 5 sentences are unnecessary. Which 2? Delete the unnecessary sentences 5. Rewrite the opening paragraph, making it 2 sentences long. 6. The underlined sentences are not written in a technical style. Edit them for style. There are no language errors, just problems in style. Keep the meaning of the original sentences. 7. Revise the italicized section for word choice. In numerous places, the writer has chosen vocabulary that is incorrect or inappropriate. When you edit this section, focus on word choice. Subject: Conference Dear Vice President Hope you are doing well. Working from home is indeed very challenging. The International Society for Professional Improvement's annual conference has been rescheduled for August 2021. The conference 3 Make one parallel list using the text. 4 2 of the first 5 sentences are unnecessary. Which 27 Delete the unnecessary sentences 5 Rewrite the opening paragraph, making it 2 sentences long. 6 The underlined sentences are not written in a technical style. Edit them for style. There are no language errors, just problems in style. Keep the meaning of the original sentences. 7. Revise the italicized section for word choice. In numerous places, the writer has chosen vocabulary that is incorrect or inappropriate. When you edit this section, focus on word choice. Subject: Conference Dear Vice President Hope you are doing well. Working from home is indeed very challenging. The Internation ociety for Professional Improvement's annual conference has been rescheduled for August 2021. The conference is called Stronger Together, and focuses on maximizing teamwork. I'm requesting six days' leave and $1,650 in Professional Development (PD) funding to attend. This wonderful and amazing spectacle will be held from August 19th to August 22nd in the quiet but welcoming city Kamloops, BC. You can discover everything you could ever want to know about the conference by perusing The International Society for Professional Improvement's website here. I feel it's fair to warn you that it's a terrible website. Again, I'm looking for $2500 from the staff PD pile. The cost breaks down is as follows: $500 for the conference price, $1000 for board ($250ight). I can drive, which saves on travel costs, but am asking for $150 for foos. Please let me know if my request to attend has been okayed by September 30th, so I have time to order my hotel room. I figure that because we already talked about this, you'll have no problems with me asking for this. Thank you, Jane Doe Training Manager Some Branch of Some Bank 999-999.999 ext. 999 jdoe@somebank.com