Persuasive email analysis

after reading this memo please answer the following questions

TO: Denise Riviera

RE: Proposed Changes to the Proposal

As an employee not just looking out for the company but for you yourself I have to recommend against the entire idea of trying to win them over. You were pushed aside in the initial meeting, what's the point of going through these ethical loops and hurdles when we're already fighting in a disadvantage. You may want to consider what if we actually do get the contract, are you willing to subject your employees to everything were attempting to hide from right now? If however you decide follow through with this, there are a few things you may want to consider.

Not being honest with a time frame goes against being truthful to the potential employer. It's our job to be honest with the timeframe as when dwelling into the specific nature of the assignment, a one month difference is extremely significant. I know you feel need for us to differentiate ourselves, but you have to look at the future of the company when making these statements. There may also be legal ramifications if they were to know we had knowledge we wouldn't be able to make the five months. Do we want to be known as a company that makes empty promises? We are familiar with the work, but six months is the proper estimate to give.

As for the statement that "any system can be compromised", it's something that is widely known. Anything can be breached, it's as simple as that. With that being said, we could not mention it. We make a good product, and we know what we're doing. We could hammer that we have one of the safest if not the safest systems around. We can just reassure without throwing any negative comments to detract from that. I don't feel that we're lying or hiding anything so long as we don't make any assurances. We could give them numbers, but I wouldn't recommend implying in any way that our systems are impregnable. Let our work speak for itself!

Changing the boilerplate and names gets a little complicated and could very well be muddled if we attempt to play it in any other way that to defend our employees from discrimination and to simply show our merit through our work. The idea that we have to hide our employee's gender because we're dealing with a special type of people should really give you a hint of whether or not we should even be doing this job. With that that being said if you decide to still go through with it, it wouldn't be that horrible of an idea, so long as we get everyone's consent to do so. If we're all in the same boat then there's no legal ramifications. We aren't downplaying anyone's work, and they are still going to do what they were hired to do. Everyone will have their names shortened to their initials. So long as we don't give any premise to any sexist ideology it's certainly something that we can do.

Regarding Linda, aside from the fact that it's incredibly wrong just to consider replacing her, I wouldn't deem it wise. Based simply on sans' IT code of ethics, we have to respect certain principles. "I will not participate in any form of discrimination, whether due to race, color, national origin, ancestry, sex, sexual orientation, gender/sexual identity or expression, marital status, creed, religion, age, disability, veteran's status, or political ideology." Legal ramifications aside, do you really consider this job something worth

Questions:

• Does the memo effectively make a rational connection with Denise based on clarity and logical reasoning? (Versus connecting based on power or personal relationships.)

• Does the memo opening provide the necessary background on the problem and a clear statement of the memo's purpose? Does the memo conclude with a clear call to action?

• Do the memo and paragraph structures follow a unified, coherent, and logical pattern of organization? (Unified means the paragraph has a single clear idea and stays focused on it; coherent means that the sub-ideas are clearly related and build forward in a logical order.)

• Is the writing style effective in cultivating clarity, conciseness, and a convincing professional ethos appropriate to the purpose, audience, and genre? View Adobe Spark: Voice and Tone (Links to an external site.)
• . Is the writing grammatically and mechanically correct?

• Is the page design effective in cultivating efficiency and a convincing professional ethos appropriate to the purpose, audience, and genre?