The following persuasive request for adjustment contains numerous flaws. Read the message carefully and analyze its faults. Then use the following steps to outline and write an improved message.

a. Describe the flaws in this persuasive request for adjustment.

b. Develop a plan for rewriting the letter. The following steps will help you organize your thoughts before you begin writing:

Determine whether to use the direct or indirect approach.

Use the "you" attitude to gain attention in the opening.

Find a way to establish your credibility.

Improve the order of material presented in the body of the letter.

Create an appropriate closing.

c. Now rewrite the letter. Don't forget to leave ample time for revision of your work before you turn it in.

March 22, 2013

Mr. Robert Bech told, Manager Kukyendahl Joint, Inc.88 North

Park Road Houston, TX 77005

Re: Last Warning

Dear Mr. Bechtold:

Enclosed is a summary of recent ETS-related court cases in which landlords and owners were held responsible for providing toxinfree air for their tenants. In most of these cases, owners were also required to reimburse rents and pay damages for the harm done before the environmental tobacco smoke problem was remedied. We've been plagued with this since we moved in on January 2, 2012. You haven't acted on our complaints, or responded to our explanations that secondhand smoke is making us sick, filtering in from nearby offices. You must act now or you will be hearing from our lawyers. We've told you that we were forced to hire contractors to apply weather stripping and seal openings. This cost us $3,000 (bills attached) and we expect reimbursement. But the smoke is still coming in. We also want a refund for the $9,000 we've paid you in rent since January. Call us immediately at (832) 768-3899, or our attorneys will be calling you. Cigarette smoke from tenants on either side of us, and perhaps above and below as well, has been infiltrating our space and you have done nothing, despite our pleas, to stop it. This is unacceptable. This is a known human carcinogen. Ask the Environmental Protection Agency, which classified it as this Group A toxin. It causes lung, breast, cervical, and endocrine cancer in nonsmokers. You wouldn't want to breathe it, either. One employee already quit who suffered from asthma. Another is threatening because he's a high risk for heart attack. Migraines, bronchitis, respiratory infections-all caused by the 4,600 chemicals in ETS, including poisons such as cyanide, arsenic, formaldehyde, carbon monoxide, and ammonia. We've had them all-the illnesses, that is. Secondhand smoke is even more dangerous than what smokers inhale, since the inhalation process burns off some of the toxins. Sick time has already cost CMSI valuable business and lowered productivity. Plus many of us are considering finding other jobs unless our office air becomes safe to breathe again. But as the court cases prove, the responsibility for fixing this problem is yours. We expect you to live up to that responsibility immediately. Frankly, we're fed up with your lack of response. Kathleen Thomas Manager