The "You" Attitude Rewrite the following sentences to reflect your audience's viewpoint.

1. We request that you use the order form supplied in the back of our catalog.

2. We insist that you always bring your credit card to the store.

3. We want to get rid of all our 15-inch monitors to make room in our warehouse for the 19-inch screens. Thus we are offering a 25 percent discount on all sales this week.

4. I am applying for the position of bookkeeper in your office. I feel that my grades prove that I am bright and capable, and I think I can do a good job for you.

5. As requested, we are sending the refund for $25. Emphasizing the Positive Revise these sentences to be positive rather than negative.

6. To avoid damage to your credit rating, please remit payment within 10 days.

7. We don't make refunds on returned merchandise that is soiled.

8. Because we are temporarily out of Baby Cry dolls, we won't be able to ship your order for 10 days.

9. You failed to specify the color of the blouse you ordered.

10. You should have realized that waterbeds will freeze in unheated houses during winter. Therefore, our guarantee does not cover the valve damage and you must pay the $9.50 valve-replacement fee (plus postage). Emphasizing the Positive Revise the following sentences to replace unflattering terms (in italics) with euphemisms.

11. The new boss is __________ (stubborn) when it comes to doing things by the book.

12. When you say we've doubled our profit level, you are __________ (wrong).

13. Just be careful not to make any __________ (stupid) choices this week.

14. Jim Riley is __________ (incompetent) for that kind of promotion.

15. Glen monopolizes every meeting by being __________ (a loudmouth). Courteous Communication Revise the following sentences to make them more courteous.

16. You claim that you mailed your check last Thursday, but we have not received it.

17. It is not our policy to exchange sale items, especially after they have been worn.

18. You neglected to sign the enclosed contract.

19. I received your letter, in which you assert that our shipment was three days late.

20. You failed to enclose your instructions for your new will. Bias-Free Language Rewrite each of the following sentences to eliminate bias.

21. For an Indian, Maggie certainly is outgoing.

22. He needs a wheelchair, but he doesn't let his handicap affect his job performance.

23. A pilot must have the ability to stay calm under pressure, and then he must be trained to cope with any problem that arises.

24. Candidate Renata Parsons, married and the mother of a teenager, will attend the debate.

25. Senior citizen Sam Nugent is still an active salesman.

Message Composition: Selecting Words In the following sentences, replace vague phrases (underlined) with concrete phrases. Make up any details you might need.

26. We will be opening our new facility sometime this spring.

27. You can now purchase our new Leaf-Away yard and lawn blower at a substantial savings.

28. After the reception, we were surprised that such a large number attended.

29. The new production line has been operating with increased efficiency on every run.

30. Over the holiday, we hired a crew to expand the work area.

Message Composition: Selecting Words In the following sentences, replace weak terms (in italics) with words that are stronger:

31. The two reporters (ran after) every lead enthusiastically.

32. Even large fashion houses have to match staff size to the normal __________ (seasonal ups and downs).

33. The __________ (bright) colors in that ad are keeping customers from seeing what we have to sell.

34. Health costs __________ (suddenly rise) when management forgets to emphasize safety issues.

35. Once we solved the zoning issue, new business construction __________ (moved forward), and the district has been flourishing ever since.

Message Composition: Selecting Words Rewrite these sentences to replace the clichés with fresh, personal expressions.

36. Being a jack-of-all-trades, Dave worked well in his new selling job.

37. Moving Leslie into the accounting department, where she was literally a fish out of water, was like putting a square peg into a round hole, if you get my drift.

38. I knew she was at death's door, but I thought the doctor would pull her through.

39. Movies aren't really my cup of tea; as far as I am concerned, they can't hold a candle to a good book.

40. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there in the rat race of the asphalt jungle. Message Composition: Selecting Words In the following sentences, replace long, complicated words with short, simple ones.

41. Management __________ (inaugurated) the recycling policy six months ago.

42. You can convey the same meaning without __________ (utilizing) the same words.

43. You'll never be promoted unless you __________ (endeavor) to be more patient.

44. I have to wait until payday to __________ (ascertain) whether I got the raise.

45. John will send you a copy once he's inserted all the __________ (alterations) you've requested.

46. Grand Tree __________ (fabricates) office furniture that is both durable and attractive.

47. I understand from your letter that you expect a full refund; __________ (nevertheless), your warranty expired more than a year ago.

Message Composition: Selecting Words Rewrite the following sentences, replacing obsolete phrases with up-to date versions. Write none if you think there is no appropriate substitute.

48. I have completed the form and returned it to my insurance company, as per your instructions.

49. Attached herewith is a copy of our new contract for your records.

50. Even though it will increase the price of the fence, we have decided to use the redwood in lieu of the cedar.

51. Saunders & Saunders has received your request for the Greenwood file, and in reply I wish to state that we will send you copies of Mr. Greenwood's documents only after Judge Taylor makes her ruling and orders us to do so.

52. Please be advised that your account with National Bank has been compromised, and we advise you to close it as soon as possible.

Message Composition: Creating Sentences Rewrite the following sentences so that they are active rather than passive.

53. The raw data are submitted to the data processing division by the sales representative each Friday.

54. High profits are publicized by management.

55. The policies announced in the directive were implemented by the staff.

56. Our computers are serviced by the Santee Company.

57. The employees were represented by Janet Hogan. Message Organization: Transitions Add transitions to the following sentences to improve the flow of ideas. 

58. Steve Case saw infinite possibilities for the Internet. Steve Case was determined to turn his vision into reality. The techies scoffed at his strategy of building a simple Internet service for ordinary people. Case doggedly pursued his dream. He analyzed other online services. He assessed the needs of his customers. He responded to their desires for an easier way to access information over the Internet. In 1992, Steve Case named his company America Online (AOL). Critics predicted the company's demise. By the end of the century, AOL was a profitable powerhouse. AOL grew so big that it was able to merge with the giant traditional media company Time Warner. The merger was widely criticized. The merger did not live up to Case's expectations. He eventually left the company.

59. Facing some of the toughest competitors in the world, Harley-Davidson had to make some changes. The company introduced new products. Harley's management team set out to rebuild the company's production process. New products were coming to market and the company was turning a profit. Harley's quality standards were not on par with those of its foreign competitors. Harley's costs were still among the highest in the industry. Harley made a U-turn and restructured the company's organizational structure. Harley's efforts have paid off.

60. Whether you're indulging in a doughnut in New York or California, Krispy Kreme wants you to enjoy the same delicious taste with every bite. The company maintains consistent product quality by carefully controlling every step of the production process. Krispy Kreme tests all raw ingredients against established quality standards. Every delivery of wheat flour is sampled and measured for its moisture content and protein levels. Krispy Kreme blends the ingredients. Krispy Kreme tests the doughnut mix for quality. Krispy Kreme delivers the mix to its stores. Krispy Kreme knows that it takes more than a quality mix to produce perfect doughnuts all the time. The company supplies its stores with everything they need to produce premium doughnuts-mix, icings, fillings, equipment-you name it.