$7\mathrm{.}1$ Document for Analysis: Poorly Organized Request Requires Revision $($L$.$O$.1)$

Ryan Abrams, Human Resources manager at Anchore, has written the following e$-$mail message to several line managers asking for information.

YOUR TASK Study the first draft of his poorly organized message and list its weaknesses. Then revise it to create a concise, clear message. Consider patterning your revision on Model Document $7\mathrm{.}1$ in this chapter.