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$7\mathrm{.}1$ Document for Analysis: Poorly Organized Request Requires Revision $($L$.$O$.1)$

E$-$Mail

Ryan Abrams, Human Resources manager at Anchore, has written the following e$-$mail message to several line managers asking for information.

YOUR TASK Study the first draft of his poorly organized message and list its weaknesses. Then revise it to create a concise, clear message. Consider patterning your revision on Model Document in this chapter.

To: Norberto Savala

nsavala@anchore.com

From: Ryan.Adams

radams@anchore.com Subject: Need Your Input!

Norberto,

It has come to the attention of management here at Anchore that we may be missing an opportunity to find quality new employees. At a recent meeting many of us remarked about the feasibility of an internship program. Perhaps the time has come that we look into

such a program. Our discussion centered on the fact that such a program could be instrumental in evaluating up$-$and$-$coming talent without making a hiring commitment.

The topic of an internship program has come up again and again, and I$\text{'}$m taking this opportunity to ask you to please answer some questions about whether this is a good idea or not. As our organization continues to expand, interns might make sense. But there are many points that we need to discuss, and I've put together a few questions that I think we should cover at the next management meeting. Please mark your calendar to meet on February $23$ at $9$ a$.$m$.$ in the morning.

First, we really need to discuss whether an internship program is advantageous to us here at Anchore. In addition, what are the disadvantages? Next, what are some of the ramifications legally of hosting an internship program. here in our state? Another question that enters my mind is whether we should pay interns. Do they receive college credit instead? I wonder if that serves as satisfactory compensation. Finally, we need to discuss where this program would be launched within Anchore. What departments to pilot such a program?

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Chapter $7$ Short Workplace Messages and Digital Media