Document for Analysis: Poor Action Request for Internship

Your Task.
Analyze the poorly written persuasive request. List its weaknesses. If your instructor directs, revise the letter. Add any information necessary.
4320 Mountlake Terrace Drive
Lynnwood, WA 98250
Current date
Ms. Nancy Ashley, Director
Human Resources Department
Software Enterprises, Inc.
268 Redmond Avenue
Bellevue, WA 98420
Dear Ms. Ashley:
I’m looking for an internship position that will earn me three units of credit. Perhaps I could fill in for employees who are taking vacations or who might be released for training at Software Enterprises, Inc. I have taken a number of courses, and now I really need some experience. I’m a college senior at Edmonds College, and I have communication and computer skills. I know Word and Excel, and I’ve had training in letter and report writing. Are these skills that might be useful in one of your departments? Although I can’t work in the mornings because that’s when I take classes, I am available in the afternoons but I couldn’t give you more than 15 hours a week. I need to do this during the next 14 weeks if possible. I realize that equipment and desk space at your company may not be available for an intern. You may also be worried about insurance, but don’t give it a thought. Our college has liability insurance for all interns. I’m sending a copy of my résumé for you to see. Please let me know about the possibility of an internship.
Sincerely,