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Managing Conflict Through Communication 5th Edition Dudley Cahn, Ruth Abigail - Solutions
Read each of the case studies below and answer the following questions.a. Which cases below illustrate an anger‐in, an anger‐in who is venting anger, an anger‐out, or anger controller?b. In each case, was the anger managed effectively? If not, identify the “primary emotion” that is being
Read the case study below and answer the questions that follow it.With my roommate Elena, I’ve been unhappy and stressed out over the fact that my roommate may or may not be coming back next year to room with me. We have been the best of friends since our first days in elementary school, and I
Apply the ABC model to the major stresses in your life by listing the following in a fourcolumn table.a. List activating events or stressors (triggering events, people, places, situations)in your life. Indicate which are temporary or short-lived stressors and which are longer term. Identify each as
Go to a public space, such as a shopping mall. As unobtrusively as possible, observe when people are angry. What do they seem to be angry about? How long does their expression of anger last? How do they seem to resolve their anger? Are there differences in anger expression because of the gender,
What makes you really angry? For one day, keep a journal of the way you are reacting to problems around you. You can do this by keeping track of your data in three columns.In the first, list the situation to which you reacted angrily. In the second column, rate how angry you were, with 1 = mildly
Take a piece of paper and draw three columns on it. In the first, list two or three stressors you are facing right now. In the second, list the kind of negative self-talk you are engaging in about that stressor. In the third, write a different self-talk message that can help reduce your stress
Take a piece of paper and draw three columns on it. In the first column, identify the various sources of stress you have in your life. In the second, indicate whether the stress factor is positive (leading to eustress) or negative (leading to distress, hyperstress, or hypostress). In the third
What are some ways you use to work off your anger before talking to another person?
Under what conditions have you found yourself expressing your anger appropriately?How was the situation different from a time that you felt your anger was out of control?What do you think you could do to duplicate the situation under which you expressed your anger constructively?
Are you a person who tends to blow up, do you express your anger calmly, or do you simply not express it at all? What are the outcomes of expressing anger in this way?
Have you ever experienced distress as defined and explained in this chapter? If not, do you know someone who has? Were you or this other person able (at some point) to identify reasons for this distress? Did you or the other person try any of the techniques listed for reducing distress? Do you know
Have you tried any of the techniques listed for reducing hyperstress? Which worked best? Do you know someone who should try some of these techniques?
When have you recently (or ever) blown up over something that was not such a big deal really? Can you think of times you got really upset but now can’t remember why? Think back on these occasions and try to determine if there were other problems going on in your life. Did they put you on edge so
Was a remedy offered? If not, what might it be? As for acknowledgment, what remedies would likely receive rejection from the narrator? What remedies might receive acceptance?
Does a reproach occur?
Is this an offending situation?
Visit a number of different SNS sites. How does the site itself describe its purpose? How do you see the profiles of people within the site exemplifying that purpose? What are the differences between the various sites?
Imagine that you have to say something potentially face‐threatening to a friend. Explain how you could use each of these disclaimers to soften the complaint:a. hedgingb. cognitive disclaimerc. credentialingd. sin licensee. appeal for suspended judgment
If you are a member of Facebook, My Space, or another Social Network Site (SNS), or work related sites like LinkedIn, think about the way you use it. How do you present yourself?What impression do you hope people will get from reading your profile? Have there been times people have posted something
Can you remember a time that you needed to use corrective face work in order to repair a relationship? What was the nature of the situation? How did you use it?
Can you remember a time that you used preventative face work to avoid making the other person feel defensive? What was the nature of the situation? How did you use it?
What are your general and specific face needs? In general, what actions could others take that would show support for your face needs? What specific actions could they take?
How have you seen issues of autonomous and positive face create conflicts in your experience? What have you done to resolve issues of autonomous and positive face? Are the strategies you use for each issue different?
Under what conditions in the past have other people commented on your face management?Were these positive or negative experiences? How did you react?
Think of two different conflict situations with individuals you know well and see often.In the first situation, the other person is subordinate to you (you have some authority over her or him at home, work, or school).In the second situation, the other person is superordinate to you (has authority
Read the case study and answer the questions that follow it.I had just bought a new computer, and was in the process of getting it all set up.Space is a precious commodity in university housing. My roommate has had a laptop computer for over a year that obviously requires less space to operate than
Using the example you identified in Think about It, #4, or a new example, analyze a situation in which groupthink, the “Abilene Paradox,” or the “Lucifer Effect” took place. Who was involved? What roles did each person play? What was the situation?How did it come to be dysfunctional?
Take a piece of paper and draw two columns on it. Compare two past or present conflict situations, one in which the other engaged in supportive behavior and another in which the other resorted to defensive behavior. What role does the supportive or defensive behavior play in each conflict
Arrange to play the Prisoner’s Dilemma game with other members of your class, some as individual contestants, others as pairs, and some with three members on each team.At the conclusion of the game, describe the role of both trust/distrust and competitive/cooperative behavior in interpersonal
Think of a particular relationship where there is an imbalance of power. List the power resources and power symbols associated with that relationship and the powerful speech cues of the person in authority. Are there any power resources or power symbols that the stronger person has overlooked or
When have you seen groupthink, the “Abilene Paradox,” or the “Lucifer Effect” take place in a group? What conditions gave rise to them?
When have you ever lost your trust in someone? How did you react to the loss of trust?How was the trust restored?
Under what conditions are you likely to use powerful speech? Powerless speech? Neutral speech? Why?
How do you make amends after you have engaged in a displaced conflict with someone close to you? What can you do to avoid such displaced conflicts in the future?
How does it feel when you are in an unbalanced power relationship? What is it like to have more power? Less power?
How should the commander have handled the situation? Did he make the best decisions?
Why did the men fail to see the humor in the women’s choice of pictures and respond as they did?
Was the women’s choice of pictures a good way to deal with the mess hall problem?
Why would the women object to the men’s choice of pictures to display on the walls?
What issues existed between the men and the women in this military unit as implied in this narrative? Was there a potential for offensive and even violent behavior?
At a local bar, men pat women on the backside.
A male supervisor occasionally bumps or brushes against a female worker.
A teacher takes every opportunity to touch you on the arm and shoulders, when talking to you.
Your employer calls you at home and asks to stop over on his/her way home from work.
Someone you consider as just a friend suddenly tries to kiss you when you two are alone together.
A colleague stands up, glares at you, raises his voice, and jabs a finger in your chest.
Your boss suggests that you go out with him to dinner.
How should someone respond when a member of the opposite sex accuses him or her of being offensive, threatening, or sexually harassing?
What is the best way to make a member of the opposite sex aware of how her or his behavior affects you? What is the best way of handling a person who becomes offensive, threatening, or sexually harassing?
Is it possible that one sex may view a behavior as violent and the other not? What might be some examples where the sexes may differ in their interpretation of a behavior?
At what point does a behavior change from nonviolent to violent?
On a scale of 1–10(worst–best management), how would you rate the management of this interpersonal confrontation? Which conflicting party attempted to be the most productive?
How well did the parties use their creativity? Did they try to look at the problem from different angles (use lateral or vertical thinking)? Did they use mind-mapping or visual journaling?
Did the parties set a date to return for a follow-up on how well the agreement was working out?
Did the parties reach an agreement that both were satisfied with?
How well did the parties use the six-step confrontation model? How well did each listen to the other?
How might the conflicting parties have improved their “communicating” during the conflict? (Did they use I-statements, assertiveness?)
How might the conflicting parties have improved their “listening” during the conflict?
How might the conflicting parties have improved their “thinking” about the conflict?
How well did the conflicting parties use S-TLC? Did anyone stop and take a time out?Would it have been useful?
In the following case study, how might you use the ideas in this chapter to produce a creative and more insightful resolution to the conflict?My husband and I went out for an early dinner at a nice restaurant. The restaurant was practically empty, but we were seated next to a table that had a
In the following case study, how might you use the ideas in this chapter to produce a creative and more insightful resolution to the conflict?An interesting situation is occurring with another tenant and my roommate and me in our apartment building. We have assigned parking spaces, and the tenant
Read the following case study and answer the questions that follow it.My friend and I both struggle with our emotional problems. Lately, we have both worked on areas in our lives. She is trying to assert herself more, and I am to the point where I cannot take any more advice on how to run my life.
Read the following case study and answer the questions that follow it.When engaged in conflict with my brother, Carl, we usually begin with a period of silence where we both contemplate our reasons for feeling as we do. We usually think the problem over thoroughly before we say anything. Then comes
Use the Six Hats problem-solving method to analyze a conflict you have experienced recently.Be sure to write the names of each hat and the conclusion that perspective brings to you.
Use the mind-mapping technique to analyze a conflict you have experienced recently.After you are done, write the answers to these questions: What were you thinking when you started? Is it still the same? When you see the whole picture, how is your thinking affected? What was surprising? Are there
Fill in the blanks with words that complete the sentence using the formula:I feel . . . when . . . because . . . I want . . .I feel ______________ when I have to wait and wait because I hate waiting around and wasting time. I want to leave at the time we agreed on.I feel frustrated when
Look at the following statements. Which statements are goal statements specifying a clear want?a. Let’s get together for lunch.b. I want us to spend more time together with the kids.c. I want you to attend this class with me.d. I wish we could play different kinds of music around here instead of
Look at the following statements. Which are correctly stated needs or feeling statements?a. I feel disappointed that you are backing out of this show after you agreed to help me with it.b. You really irritate me when you don’t show up for a date with me.c. I need assurance I am loved in a
Take a piece of paper and write a description of a conflict you recently experienced or observed. Below your description, list the actions you took that you would label as assertive. If you discover that none were taken, list the assertive actions you could have taken.
Take a sheet of paper and make three columns on it. Label the columns instrumental goal, relationship goal, and identity goal. In each column, describe a conflict you experienced or observed with that goal. What made it a conflict? How did you resolve the conflict?
Take a sheet of paper and make three columns. In each column, describe a conflict in which you thought the other person should change, you were able to change the conditions(or social environment) of the conflict, and you thought you should change in yourself. Which of the changes was easiest to
What kinds of conflicts would be best analyzed using (a) the Six Hats method, (b) mindmapping, and (c) a visual journal?
Can you think of a time when a trained incapacity such as goal-centeredness or critical thinking got in the way of mutual understanding of a conflict situation? How did you determine that you were hampered by a trained incapacity?
How would you explain the importance of creativity in conflict management to another person?
In what kinds of situations are you most likely to be assertive? Were there disadvantages for you? Under what conditions is assertiveness advantageous?
What are you thinking about when others talk? Do you concentrate on what they are saying or do you think about your own ideas instead? After listening to someone, can you write down most of what that person told you? If not, why not?
How hard is it for you to stop a conflict? If you find it easy to not respond automatically, what advice can you give others who have trouble with this step? Whether you find this step difficult or not, what ways do you prefer if you try to take a “time out”?
Think of a time when you felt that you handled a conflict well. What did you do that seemed competent to you? How do those behaviors contrast with a time when you felt you handled a conflict poorly?
How could or should one resolve this conflict?c. Conflict situation: I am unhappy in my relationship because I have to do all the housework and my partner won’t agree to do more. It seems unfair that I have to do more than my share. Why won’t she help out?1.Which conflict theory discussed in
What is really the cause of the conflict?
Which conflict theory discussed in this chapter best explains this conflict?
How could or should one resolve this conflict?b. Conflict situation: I am anxious before flying on a trip; so I become irritable and wind up fighting with my partner before I go over insignificant but overblown issues.
What is really the cause of the conflict?
Which conflict theory discussed in this chapter best explains this conflict?
Identify the theories that best explain the following conflicts. Check your answers against those at the end of the exercises.a. Conflict situation: I blame my roommate for our current feud. All I can think about is getting even. Yesterday, he took my car and returned it on empty. I thought I had
Label the following statements by selecting either (a) internal attributions or (b) external attributions. Check your answers against those at the end of the exercises.a. “He did this to me because he wants to get even.”b. “She did this to me because she hates my guts.”c. “He did poorly
Add to the paper you started above. Write systems theory in the left column, and explain how it helps you to analyze conflicts in the right column.
Add to the paper you started above. Write social exchange theory in the left column, and explain how it helps you to analyze conflicts in the right column.
Add to the paper you started above. Write uncertainty theory in the left column, and explain how it helps you to analyze conflicts in the right column.
Add to the paper you started above. Write attribution theory in the left column, and explain how it helps you to analyze conflicts in the right column.
This exercise is something you can start now and add to throughout the chapter. Take a piece of paper and draw two columns on it. In the left column, list your theoretical tools, starting with psychodynamic theory. In the right column, describe what your tool does in analyzing conflicts.
What conflicts can you identify that were motivated by systems theory principles? How best might you deal with such conflicts?
What conflicts can you identify that were motivated by a desire to increase your rewards or to decrease your costs in a relationship? Were you successful? Why or why not?
What conflicts can you identify that were motivated by uncertainty? How could you have obtained more information before engaging in the conflict?
When have false attributions you have made about another exacerbated a conflict situation?Have there been times when making accurate attributions about the other has helped you?
Have you ever experienced a misplaced conflict? What was the root cause? What was the safe issue? How did you determine that you were experiencing a misplaced conflict?
Are there situations in your life where you are more likely to displace your anger or conflict with the other person than to deal with it directly? What characterizes those situations?
Take a piece of paper and write a description of a conflict you recently experienced or observed. Below your description, draw three columns and label them the occasion, the other person, and my needs. How does each aspect of the conflict impact the way you should react to the conflict you’ve
Write out a description of a conflict you recently experienced or observed. If you had attempted the collaborative style, what actions would you have taken at each step of the conflict?
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