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Interpersonal Communication Everyday Encounters 8th Edition Julia T. Wood - Solutions
3. If Max is gone four nights a week, would Tara’s lack of contact mean that she would experience“ambiguous loss?”When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your work with the author’s
2. Based on the dialogue, how would you judge Tara and Max’s levels of commitment to the relationship?When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your work with the author’s suggested responses.
1. What love styles do you think Max and Tara have?What cues in the dialogue lead you to identify each person’s love style?When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your work with the author’s
Have you ever visited a cybermemorial?If so, did you find it helpful in dealing with your feelings about the person who died?
Have you experienced ambiguous loss? If so, how did it differ from unambiguous loss?
If you have had a relationship with a co-worker, how much of the fallout mentioned above did you experience?
4. To learn how others view friendships and what issues arise in their friendships, visit the Friendship Page at http://www.friendship.com.au. This site offers songs, poetry, and quotes about friendship as well as chat rooms and an advice forum. To what extent do the issues raised in the advice
3. Think about someone who is a very close or best friend. Describe the investments you and your friend have made in the relationship. Describe how you build and communicate trust, acceptance, and closeness.Are the dynamics of your friendship consistent with those identified by researchers as
2. Write out typical topics of talk for each stage in the evolution of friendships. How do topics change as friendships wax and wane?
1. Think about a friendship you have with a person of your own sex and a friendship you have with a person of the other sex. To what extent does each friendship conform to the gender patterns described in this chapter?
Ethical Application Is it always unethical to lie to friends? If a friend asks you what you think of her new boyfriend, and you think he is a total loser, should you say that or offer a less critical comment such as “It’s too soon to tell” or “You seem to be enjoying time with him.” If
Workplace Application Do you have on-the-job friends at your current job or did you at a previous job?If so, how does having workplace friends affect your work? Would your work be different if you didn’t have friends on the job?
Personal Application Think about how what we’ve discussed applies to your life. How important are talk and activities in your closest friendships? What have you invested in your closest friendships? How do you express support to your close friends? Does your membership in particular cultural
4. Communicating Needs Clearly The three scenarios presented here describe interactions in which a friend does not initially give the desired response. For each one, write what you could say to clarify what is wanted.a. You’ve just found out that your car needs two new tires and alignment, and
3. Advantages and Disadvantages of Online Friendships Reflect on two close friendships, one of which is with someone you regularly communicate with face to face, and the other of which is with someone you communicate with mainly through social media.Identify advantages of each way of maintaining
2. Maintaining Friendship over Distance Do you have a long-distance friendship? If so, which of the following strategies do you use to maintain it?• Call or text at least once a day• Call or text at least once a week• Call at least once a month• Call once or twice a year• Email or text
1. Appreciating Talking and Doing in Friendships For each of the following scenarios, write down one thing you might say and one thing you might do to show you care about the person described.a. Your best friend has just broken up with his or her long-term boyfriend or girlfriend. Your friend texts
Begin the process of applying this chapter’s concepts by taking a self-assessment quiz here or online—where you will find out what the results mean.Purpose: To understand your own style of friendship Instructions: Answer the following questions about how you experience and express closeness
6. Can you envision ways in which Sean’s ideal scenario might be realized, so that he and Bart could stay close friends and keep the friendship separate from their working relationship? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned
5. If you could rewrite the conversation between Bart and Sean, how would you revise it? What would you want to happen that isn’t happening? What is happening that you would not want to happen? In revising the conversation, think about ways in which Sean and Bart might use communication to build
4. Think about the systemic nature of relationships.Identify how the one change (Sean’s promotion)affects other aspects of this relationship and interaction within it. When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned Bart and Sean
3. How is the trust between Bart and Sean affected by the changes in their relationship? In what ways might each man feel less able to trust the other? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned Bart and Sean have been friends and
2. Review the ways people respond to relational dialectics, which we discussed in Chapter 8. Assess how effective each response might be in this situation. How do you think separation, selection, neutralization, and reframing might affect interaction? When you’ve watched the video online,
1. What relational dialectics do you see operating in the friendship between Sean and Bart?When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned Bart and Sean have been friends and coworkers at Capital Bank for 10 years.They’ve been
If you have been in a friends-withbenefits relationship, what is your conclusion about the impact of sexual activity on friendship?
4. Have you been in relationships in which you felt there was grace? How was grace communicated?What was the impact of grace? Have you extended grace to others?
3. Have you ever been in a relationship in which conflict was stifled?Using the concepts you learned in this chapter, can you now describe how the conflict was repressed? Can you now think of ways you might have engaged in more effective conflict communication in that relationship?
2. Think about the ways you typically respond to conflict. Do you tend to rely on one or two of the four responses we discussed (exit, voice, loyalty, neglect)? Are your response tendencies consistent with research findings about women and men, in general?
1. What ethical principles are implicit in lose–lose, win–lose, and win–win orientations to conflict?Some styles of conflict emphasize fairness, whereas other styles place greater value on cooperation.Do you identify more strongly with either of these value emphases?
Ethical Application To what extent and under what conditions do you consider it ethical to exit conflict by refusing to reply to texts or emails? Does refusing to engage deny the other person an opportunity to resolve the conflict?
Workplace Application Recall a time when you experienced conflict with a coworker. How did the overall communication system in that workplace shape communication in that situation?
Personal Application Reflect on the ways you respond to conflict. Are you satisfied with how you manage conflict? If not, experiment with some alternative ways of responding to conflict that are described in this chapter.
2. Identifying Games in Your Communication Apply what you’ve read about covert conflict to your own life. Describe an instance when you or someone you have a relationship with played each of the following games. What was accomplished by playing each game? Were the real conflicts addressed?Blemish
1. Understanding Your Conflict Script What conflict script did you learn in your family?Think back to your childhood and adolescence, and try to remember rules for conflict that your family modeled implicitly and principles of conflict that your family explicitly endorsed.•• Did people disagree
5. Your parents call you to criticize you for not staying in touch. They say they want you to come home more often and call a couple of times each week. You are very involved in the campus scene and don’t want to be running home all the time. In this situation, you would be most likely toa. tell
4. The person you have been dating for a while says that you are too critical and too negative, and she or he says that she or he wants you to work on changing that aspect of your behavior. Although you realize this may be a fair criticism of you, you find it uncomfortable to hear. Further, you
3. Your roommate tells you that you are a slob and that she or he wants the two of you to agree to some ground rules about cleaning and putting things up. In this situation, you would be most likely toa. agree to be more neat, even though you don’t think it’s fair that you should have to
2. Last week a friend let you use his or her computer when yours crashed. Accidentally, you erased a couple of files on your friend’s computer.Later, the friend confronts you about the erased files and seems really angry. In this situation, you would be most likely toa. tune out your friend’s
1. Identifying Your Conflict Orientations Purpose: Discover your own orientation to conflict.Instructions: Answer the questions as honestly as you can.1. When conflict seems about to occur, do youa. think of arguments that promote your solution?b. worry that everyone is going to get hurt?c. think
5. How do you perceive the role of forgiveness in this conversation? Based on what you’ve learned in this chapter, can you explain why Andrea seems so quick to forgive Elle for her behavior? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you
4. Review the eight conflict management skills discussed in this chapter. Identify examples of these skills in the dialogue between Andrea and Elle. When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your
3. Is metacommunication used constructively or unproductively in this conversation and by whom? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your work with the author’s suggested responses. Online,
2. Identify the responses to conflict that are present in this scenario: do you see inclinations to exit, neglect, show loyalty, or voice conflict? What consequences result from the conflict responses used in this dialog? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter
1. Think about the different conflict orientations demonstrated by Ellie and Andrea in this scenario.What kind of conflict orientation does Ellie demonstrate? What kind of conflict orientation does Andrea demonstrate? Support your answer. When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze
The next time you find yourself in conflict, try using Dr.Weisinger’s two suggestions.Does doing so alter the course of conflict?On-the-job conflict is common. Less common is skill in dealing with workplace conflict. Dr. Hendrie Weisinger is a therapist and consultant who has much experience in
4. How often are you deferential, assertive, and aggressive in your communication? What are the situations and relationships in which each kind of behavior is most likely for you? Do the behaviors you select advance your own goals and your relationships?
3. To what extent do you honor yourself and others in communication situations? Do you give equal attention to both your needs and those of others? If not, focus on balancing your efforts to confirm yourself and others in future interactions.
2. What ethical principles are implied in communication that confirms and disconfirms others? Is it wrong to disconfirm others? All others? Intimates?
1. Have you found it difficult to confirm others when you disagree with them? If so, does reading this chapter help you distinguish between recognition, acknowledgment, and endorsement? Can you distinguish between confirming others as people and endorsing particular ideas or behaviors?
Ethical Application What responsibility, if any, does one person have to inform another of his or her level of commitment to a relationship? If you perceive someone as falling for you when you do not feel the same way, do you owe it to the other person to disclose your feelings?
Workplace Application Describe the communication climate in the job you have currently or one you held in the past. Identify specific types of communication that cultivate a confirming or disconfirming climate in this workplace.
Reflect and write about the ideas in this chapter by considering questions about personal, workplace, and ethical applications, here or online.Personal Application Practice applying this chapter’s guidelines for responding to criticism. What happens when you listen to criticism without becoming
7. Distinguishing Aggressive, Assertive, and Deferential Forms of Communication Listed below are five scenarios that describe a situation and your goal in the situation. For each scenario, write an aggressive, assertive, and deferential statement expressing your goal.Example Scenario: You need to
6. Your Rules for Social Media To become more aware of your constitutive and regulative rules for communicating on social media, answer the following questions.a. How quickly do you expect responses to your text messages?b. How much self-disclosure is appropriate on public pages of network sites?c.
5. Using Descriptive Language To develop skill in supportive communication, translate the following evaluative statements into descriptive ones.Example:Evaluative: This report is poorly done.Descriptive: This report doesn’t include relevant background information.Evaluative: You’re
4. Recognizing Relational Dialectics Listed below are six descriptions of common dynamics in personal relationships. Identify which relational dialectic is most prominent in each. Record your answers in the blanks to the left of the descriptions. Answers are given online.
3. Analyzing Your Relationships Think about two relationships in your life: one in which you feel good about yourself and safe in the connection, and one in which you feel disregarded or not valued. Identify instances of each level of confirmation in the satisfying relationship and instances of
2. Distinguishing Between Love and Commitment Listed below are 10 statements that friends and romantic partners might make to each other. In the blank to the left of each statement indicate whether the statement expresses commitment(C) or love (L). Answers are given online.a. I have a really great
1. Your Investment in Relationships What have you invested in your closest friendship, romantic relationship, and workplace relationship?a. How much time have you spent in each relationship?Friend: Romance:Work:b. How many decisions have you made to accommodate the other person?Friend:
3. If Esteban and Aoki confront Karl with their concerns, what advice would you give Karl for how he could respond constructively to their criticism? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Also online are
2. How have Esteban and Aoki’s perceptions of Karl’s communication contributed to a disconfirming communication climate for Aoki and Esteban? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Also online are three
1. How have the relationship factors of investment, commitment, trust, and comfort with relational dialectics contributed to the communication climate that exists for Aoki and Esteban at work?When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you
If you have had a mentor, describe the extent to which he or she communicated equality with you.
Reflect on how you respond when you have been scolded or told what to do. To what extent have those communication strategies led you to feel defensive?
Have you ever visited an online support group? If so, was it helpful to you?
Have you been in relationships in which both people loved each other, but only one was committed? What happened?
2. How often do you include emoticons or stickers in your digital communication? To what extent do you think they convey your emotions adequately?
1. We discussed different perspectives on emotions.Which perspective—or which combination of several—makes the most sense to you? Why? Explain how the perspective you favor gives you insight into emotions that you don’t get from other perspectives.
Reflect and write about the ideas in this chapter by considering questions about personal, workplace, and ethical applications, here or online.Personal Application Recall a time when you didn’t feel what you thought you should feel. Describe how “the pinch”felt to you and the emotion work you
4. Enlarging Your Emotional Vocabulary A key aspect of emotional competence is adequate emotional vocabulary. Reflect on your emotional vocabulary and how and when you use particular words to describe emotions.Listed here are some of the more common emotion words people use. For each one, write out
3. Emotions on Social Networks Log onto Facebook or your preferred social networking site. Read all of the posts that have appeared in the past 24 hours. Note every instance of emotional expression—anger, joy, fear, pride, and so on. What conclusions can you draw about the extent of emotional
2. Avoiding Counterfeit Emotional Language Listed here are five statements that include counterfeit emotional language. Rewrite each statement so that it describes a feeling or an emotional state. Make sure you also rely on I language, not you language, and offer precise, clear descriptions, not
1. Religions and Feeling Rules Religions urge people to follow particular feeling rules. For example, Judeo-Christian commandments direct people to “honor thy father and thy mother” and to “not covet thy neighbor’s house, nor his wife.” Buddhism commands people to feel compassion for all
In their book Anger Kills (1998), Redford Williams and Virginia Williams summarize years of research and clinical studies that show that anger harms our physical and mental health. Convinced by evidence that anger is dangerous, the Williamses developed a test to measure how dangerous a person’s
4. You and your girlfriend or boyfriend have just had an argument that became a heated shouting contest. By now, you’re both very upset, and each of you has started making nasty personal attacks on the other. What do you do?a. Suggest that the two of you take a 20-minute break to cool down and
3. While riding in a friend’s car, your friend becomes enraged at another driver who just cut in front of him. What would you do?a. Tell your friend to let it slide—that it’s no big deal.b. Put in your friend’s favorite CD and turn up the volume to distract him.c. Agree with him and show
2. Imagine that you expect to earn an A in a course you are taking, but you get a C on your midterm exam. What would you do?a. Make a specific plan to improve your grade, and resolve to implement the plan.b. Resolve to do better in the future.c. Nurture your self-concept by telling yourself that
1. Imagine you’re on an airplane and it suddenly begins rolling dramatically from side to side. What would you do?a. Keep reading your book, and ignore the turbulence.b. Become vigilant in case there is an emergency.Notice the flight attendants and review the card with instructions for
6. Would you communicate differently if Chris were a woman or man? Do you think Chris’s sex would affect how he or she communicates? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your work with the
5. How would you want the conversation to progress now? What would you say next to support and help Chris? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your work with the author’s suggested responses.
4. Does Chris seem to be operating on any irrational beliefs? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your work with the author’s suggested responses. Online, even more videos will let you
3. If you wanted to help Chris keep the job, would you advise deep acting, surface acting, or some combination of the two? Explain your reasons. When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your work
2. Do you perceive any examples of counterfeit emotional language in Chris’s communication? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your work with the author’s suggested responses. Online, even
1. What has happened so far in this conversation?Has Chris changed at all in terms of identifying emotions? When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your work with the author’s suggested
What is your response when you hear a coworker cursing?
If it were in your power to not feel emotions, would you want to make that happen?
In your experience, do girls and women engage in more social aggression than boys and men?
Identify your culture’s framing rules for responding to death.
Identify an online appeal that captured your interest and support. What was your emotional connection to that appeal?
Can you identify ways that EQ is important for the profession you plan to enter?
5. The International Listening Association (ILA)at www.listen.org is a rich resource for learning more about listening and networking with others who recognize its importance in everyday life. Its website features exercises to test and improve listening, factoids about listening, Internet
4. Apply the strategies for remembering what we discussed in this chapter. Create mnemonics, organize material as you listen, and review material immediately after listening. Do you find that using these strategies increases your listening effectiveness?
3. Keep a record of your listening for the next day. How much time do you spend listening for information, listening to support others, and listening for pleasure?
2. What ethical principles can you identify to guide the three kinds of listening? Are different ethical principles appropriate when listening for information and listening to support others?
1. Who is your prototype, or model, of a listener?Describe what the person does that makes him or her effective. How do the person’s behaviors fit with guidelines for effective listening discussed in this chapter?
Reflect and write about the ideas in this chapter by considering questions about personal, workplace, and ethical applications, here or online.Personal Application Which form of nonlistening do you engage in most frequently? Identify examples of when you engage in this form of nonlistening. Can you
5. Using Minimal Encouragers Practice encouraging others to elaborate their thoughts and feelings by developing minimal encouragers in response to each of these comments:a. I’m really worried about getting into grad
4. Learning to Paraphrase Practice effective listening by paraphrasing the following statements:a. I’ve got so many pressures closing in on me right now.________________________________________________________________________________b. I’m worried about all the money I’ve borrowed to get
3. Hindrances to Mindful Listening To increase your awareness of extent to which social media can hinder mindful listening, focus on your listening habits over the next few days.Following the example below, identify how your use of social media impaired your ability to engage fully and actively as
2. Improving Your Retention Apply the principles we’ve discussed to increase your ability to remember content.•• The next time you meet someone, repeat his or her name to yourself three times in a row after you are introduced. Do you remember the name better when you do this?•• After your
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